Smush Buddies

The honest truth is that young Americans are in love with the idea of having sex whenever the opportunity presents itself. It should be no surprise that more and more people take the option of fitting a ‘smush buddy’ into their busy schedule instead of having a serious relationship, which requires time, effort, and dedication. Nowadays, a smush buddy appears to be the most convenient way to quickly satisfy all of the sexual desires that we yearn for, but is it less drama?

You have to wonder why your smushing session always ends up like a nightmare on Elm Street! It’s like the rules are forever changing, and both parties seem to misunderstand the initial goal of smushing. This is the main reason why when one smusher decides to have a taste of a new smush buddy, the other smusher comes back with “how could you do this to me?” This is the WTF moment that smacks you right on the side of your forehead! One way or another, whether you plan for it or not, someone is always left hurt and confused about the rules of the game. I mean why do we even assume that there are rules to this crazy game!

Did you do something wrong? I’m not quite sure…

I would hate to think that there are rules to smushing, but if there are, then we might as well pull out the contracts and sign on the dotted lines. The whole point of smushing is to get your quick satisfaction, while avoiding the drama and deep feelings that come with relationships. At first, the connection is purely physical with no strings attached, which is exactly what you signed up for when you said,

“Hey, want to smush?”

Unfortunately, sooner or later, someone catches feelings and the whole thing is ruined. To be clear, if the idea that this person might be your soul mate crosses your mind, you can forget about it because any potential future is out the door. Believe me, this is not a movie! Your best bet is to pack your bags and run because you are in a state of confusion!

Questions were meant for boyfriends and girlfriends, so if anyone dares to ask “who was that on the phone?” you might want to reconsider your current status. Once your smushing buddy starts asking you questions, be aware that you are now in a full-blown relationship! The only questions you should be answering start with ‘when’ and ‘where’. If smushing leads to a relationship, then why not call it dating? Don’t be fooled; smushing rarely leads to a long-term relationship!

How did you get into this muddy situation?

You ignored the signs that your smushing buddy was catching feelings, and then selfishly decided to invite a third person to the party. Did you have permission from your #1 smusher? No! You didn’t think it was a requirement! Who told you that you were allowed to invite guests to this party? Better yet, who would have thought that one extra smush would create all this drama? You have to understand that some people can’t play with the physical without letting the emotional side take control. It’s clear that we all want to believe that we are the only smusher, but we’re not! The ridiculous part is that we set these ridiculous expectations even though we’re not looking to be attached.

So call it dirty, freaky, nasty, or dishonest; at the end of the day, smushers will always have someone in the batter’s box because the game is for anyone who wants to play! If you don’t want to get hurt, don’t go into your smushing session thinking that you are the only one getting your freak on!

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